Thursday, April 30, 2009

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Michelle Bachmann is completely fucking bonkers. Also, wrong.

I don't think of Michelle Bachmann as some person with whom I disagree. I think of her as a certifiable lunatic in need of psychiatric help who belongs in the darkened corner of some state-run mental hospital (delicious irony!) talking to herself and picking corn out of her shit with her bare hands.

Exhibit 1: Democrats = pig flu

"I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke
out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I'm not blaming this
on President Obama, I just think it's an interesting coincidence."
First of all, Gerald Ford was President in 1976. Ten seconds on Wikipedia would have revealed this fact. Second, that is completely retarded.


Exhibit 2: Tariffs = Great Depression

FDR and his "Hoot-Smalley" tariff act caused the Depression.

First, it's "Hawley-Smoot". Again, 10 seconds on Wikipedia. Second, Hawley and Smoot were Republicans. Third, tariffs were a core component of the GOP platform at that point. Fourth, Herbert Hoover signed the bill into law. Ten seconds. Wikipedia.

Retard. WTF, Minnesota? I mean, what. the. f.

That's Great, Marty. Now STFU.

Is there anything more pathetic than bragging that you've had lunch with Tom Friedman?

Oh noes! Teh gay is taking over!

Still nothing quite like the Moonie Times.

Republicans vs. chimps

Remember Jim Jeffords? The difference between the GOP and a monkey is that the latter learns from its mistakes.

TS ADDS: Ahem....

Stats FAIL.

Putz:

HMM: Analysts Dispute Charge by Specter of GOP Moving Rightward. I think it’s more like what Neil Sorens said: “The reason for the change in perception is that with fiscal conservatism abandoned, the only distinguishing characteristic of the Republican Party is now social conservatism.” So, tepid as that is, it dominates. Also, there has to be some reason to tell college students that Republicans are uncool. . . .

Or, you know, Specter might be right.

Among voters who now identify as Republican or Republican-leaning, roughly two-thirds (68%) identify themselves as conservative, and of the conservatives, three-quarters think the party should turn further to the right. While a majority of moderates and liberals within the party advocate a centrist approach (66%), they make up fewer than a third (31%) of Republican voters overall. As a result, 60% of all Republican voters support a more conservative direction for the party.

BTW, Fox quotes two analysts, one of whom is Michael Barone -- a man who never met a statistic he couldn't misinterpret.

...Yeah, the GOP's not moving to the right:

Coming soon to a battleground state near you: a new effort to revive the image of the Republican Party and to counter President Obama's characterization of Republicans as "the party of 'no.'"

CNN has learned that the new initiative, called the National Council for a New America, will be announced Thursday.

It will involve an outreach by an interesting mix of GOP officials, ranging from 2008 Republican presidential nominee John McCain to Jeb Bush, the former Florida governor and the younger brother of the man many Republicans blame for the party's battered brand: former President George W. Bush.

In addition to Sen. McCain and Gov. Bush, GOP sources familiar with the plans tell CNN others involved in the new group's "National Panel Of Experts" will include:

*Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, a former national GOP chairman
*Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal
*Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney

When Romney is the moderate voice of a party, that party is on a one-way train to Crazytown.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Glenn Reynolds: there's no difference between the GOP of 2009 and 1981.

You really need to read this whole thing:
SO I HEARD SOME GUY ON THE RADIO saying that the Republicans have changed from the Reagan era — now they’re a bunch of social conservatives. But back during the Reagan era, I remember hearing that the Republicans were . . . a bunch of social conservatives. And back then they were pushing the abortion-banning Human Life Amendment — hard — along with a statutory end-run (the Human Life Bill) that simply declared life began at conception. Also school prayer and all sorts of stuff. I’m not actually hearing much along these lines from today’s Republicans, for whom tepid efforts at limiting late-term abortions are a big deal — but who are nonetheless stone-age troglodytes on social issues because they’ve got the same position as Barack Obama on gay marriage — and I’m wondering where this big shift to the right really is. It’s certainly true, of course, that the GOP wasn’t much good on small government under Bush, though they’re looking better in retrospect as Obama spends and spends. But on social issues I’m not seeing it — is this a real shift, or an imaginary one?
How about Terri Schiavo?

How about running in 2004 on a Constitutional Amendment (not the same position as Barack Obama) banning gay marriage?

How about, in addition to opposing gay marriage, opposing civil unions (also not the same position as Barack Obama)?

How about abstinence-only education?

How about teaching intelligent design in public schools?

How about "The War on Christmas"?

How about the annual "Ten Commandments must be in our City Hall" battle?

How about Harriet Miers, the Dobson-approved SCOTUS nominee?

Now the premise here might be faulty -- the rightward lurch of the GOP is a lot more remarkable in other areas such as taxes and foreign policy -- but the notion that somehow the fundies did not have more influence over the party in 2004 than they did in 1981 is on its face ridiculous.

Numbers.

So, Roger Simon thinks it is Not A Big Deal that 7 people have died from swine flu. "That’s out of a current global population approaching 7 billion," says he.

And:

Given that number there must be at least 7 documented mortalities from just about anything in that period of time. [Overeating spinach?-ed. Don't tell my mother.] We also know that roughly 36,000 Americans die yearly from the “regular” flu. Slow news day or dangerous health hazard? You tell me.


Point taken, actually. But, you know, we leveled two countries and killed reams of civilians on account of a mere two planes hitting a mere two towers killing a scant 3,000 people -- out of population of 300 million.

If I remember correctly, Mr. Simon and his pals were not so c'est la vie about that.

Tom Friedman's back.

So not only is torture justified because it prevented another 9/11, Iraq did too.

QOTD.


Kos:

We call it the Goposaur. It's looking back, to the past, refusing to evolve with the times as it longingly dreams of the days when only good, white, god-fearing dinosaurs roamed the earth and those multi-hued and highly evolved mammals weren't taking over the place and turning it into a socialist same-sex utopia with reeducation camps and 100% taxes. It's also ready to "go Galt", which apparently is a euphemism for quitting work and starving to death, thus negating the need for the giant asteroid.


Let's rub some salt in the wounds, shall we?


Expect Putz & co. to go ballistic about this. They'll probably throw around phrases like "will of the people" and "out of touch" and crap. It will all be very amusing.

Yeah, This Guy Would Be Totally Lost Without a Teleprompter.

The NYT asks Obama if Americans will miss the immense wealth that was part-and-parcel of Wall Street. He replies:

THE PRESIDENT: We will miss it in the sense that as a consequence of 25-year-olds getting million-dollar bonuses, they were willing to pay $100 for a steak dinner and that waiter was getting the kinds of tips that would make a college professor envious. And so some of the dynamic of the financial sector will have some trickle-down effects, particularly in a place like Manhattan.

But I actually think that there was always an unsustainable feel about what had happened on Wall Street over the last 10, 15 years, and it’s not that different from the unsustainable nature of what was happening during the dot-com boom, where people in Silicon Valley could make enormous sums of money, even though what they were peddling never really had any signs it would ever make a profit.

That doesn’t mean, though, that Silicon Valley is still not a huge, critical, important part of our economy, and Wall Street will remain a big, important part of our economy, just as it was in the ’70s and the ’80s. It just won’t be half of our economy. And that means that more talent, more resources will be going to other sectors of the economy. And I actually think that’s healthy. We don’t want every single college grad with mathematical aptitude to become a derivatives trader.



Just for kicks, imagine how McCain -- or worse, Gov Whatserface -- would have answered the same question.

RNC listserve email from Michael Steele

Oh dear. Play a drinking game based on usage of the word "leftist." Keep up the name calling, guys, it's working!


Dear ________,
I hope Arlen Specter's party change outrages you. It should for two reasons:

First--Specter claimed it was philosophical--and pointed his finger of blame at Republicans all over America for his defection to the Democrats. He told us all to go jump in the lake today. I'm sorry, but I don't believe a word he said.

Arlen Specter committed a purely political and self-serving act today. He simply believes he has a better chance of saving his political hide and his job as a Democrat. He loves the title of Senator more than he loves the party--and the principles--that elected him and nurtured him.

Second--and more importantly--Arlen Specter handed Barack Obama and his band of radical leftists nearly absolute power in the United States Senate. In leaving the Republican Party--and joining the Democrats--he absolutely undercut Republicans' efforts to slow down Obama's radical agenda through the threat of filibuster.

Facing defeat in Pennsylvania's 2010 Republican primary due to his left-wing voting
record, and an end to his 30 year career in the U.S. Senate, he has peddled his services--and his vote--to the leftist Obama Democrats who aim to remake America with their leftist plan. (snip)

His defection to the Democrat Party puts the Democrats in an almost unstoppable position to pass Obama's destructive agenda of income redistribution, health care nationalization, and a massive expansion of entitlements.

You and I have a choice. Some will use Specter's defection as an excuse to fold the tent and give up. I believe that you are not one of those people. When Benedict Arnold defected to the British, George Washington didn't fold the tent and give up either. He grit his teeth more determined than ever to succeed. That's what I'm asking you to do today.

Join me in this fight by making a secure online contribution of $25, $50, $100, $500 or $1,000 right now to build our army of supporters and defeat Democrat candidates like Arlen Specter in next year's elections.

Stand with me. I need your support today.

Sincerely,

Michael Steele
Chairman, Republican National Committee



OMG PLEASE SEND MONEY I AM FOR SERIOUS.

Mind of the Wingnut.

Creepy:

I SEE THIS AS A POSITIVE: “A rifle behind every blade of grass.”


I can't fathom why Homeland Security would be worried about these people...

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Hysteria! Hysteria!

Please be on the alert for symptoms of the pig flu:


Or, you know, the exact same symptoms as every other illness from the common cold to whooping cough to hysterical pregnancy. Cue the panicked parents clamoring for placebo vaccines.

Ed Morrissey, still an idiot.

Here's how Ed Morrissey knows Arlen Specter was "a liberal."
But Porkulus is the real key. Even center-right and liberal Republicans in the House rejected it.
Someone name a liberal Republican in the House. Anyone?

Rick Sanchez makes a funny.



Freedom? Freedom!? Are you kidding me? Freedom?

Shades of Jim Mora.

Ramesh Ponnuru goes for the "but the Democrats are more extreme and ideological too!" bit.

Uh-huh.
Republicans are a more homogeneously conservative party today, but so too are Democrats a more homogeneously liberal party.
"More conservative" -- than what?
"More liberal" -- than what?

Today's Democratic Party resembles Nixon's GOP and today's Republican party resembles the John Birch Society. Otherwise, Ramesh, how do you explain why so many people keep voting for Democrats?

Never knew Indiana, North Carolina and Iowa had so many flaming left-wing liberals.

TS ADDS: My pen pal Frum is pissed.

The Specter defection is too severe a catastrophe to qualify as a “wake-up call.” His defection is the thing we needed the wake-up call to warn us against! For a long time, the loudest and most powerful voices in the conservative world have told us that people like Specter aren’t real Republicans – that they don’t belong in the party. Now he’s gone, and with him the last Republican leverage within any of the elected branches of government.

For years, many in the conservative world have wished for an ideologically purer GOP. Their wish has been granted. Happy?


Yes.

Let the pointing and shrieking commence.

The wingnuts lash out at Specter.

Wingnuts to Specter: F you.

Specter to wingnuts: Oh yeah? Fuck you.

The money quote? "I am unwilling to have my twenty-nine year Senate record judged by the Pennsylvania Republican primary electorate."

It is followed by an (implied) "...because those people are completely bonkers."

The Poor Dear.

This is just precious:

While looking for a good teen magazine (“good” being the ones without hook-up tips) for her daughter, one reader stumbled on an outdated link on National Review Online. The link was embedded in an old article. But instead of the family-friendly information it originally went to, the link led to a porn site. The reader’s husband called us, not because he was angry with NRO, but because he wanted to spare the next person who clicked the link.


That's funny, because just recently I was surfing youporn and was horrified when a link went not to the expected MILF-fest, but to a National Review article co-bylined by Jonah Goldberg and Kathryn Jean Lopez. (I puked with a violence not seen since sophomore year in college.)

Rod Dreher Reacts to the Spread of Gay Marriage.


He's worried.

For me, the key words are in the United States, the virus has not finished incubating. We just don't know what we're facing. So far, no indication that it will be nearly as severe as in Mexico. But we just don't know. I am inclined to err on the side of caution, and keep our son home from the field trip today. But if this were just a normal school day, I'd send him to his class. Is this the right call? What would you do if you were me, given these factors?

They still think Colbert is one of them.

Conservatives are really, really dumb.

Monday, April 27, 2009

With Friends Like These...

Andy Breitbart:

As a realist, I've built into my mindset that the majority heterosexual population is less than exclusively responsible for creating this and countless other high-end consumer and artistic experiences. Plus, I have a ton of wonderful gay friends - even ones "married" and with children. If gay activists created "A Day Without a Gay" (as they promoted Dec. 10 of last year), I'd be the first to cry "uncle" - even before Cher. So, accordingly, I make philosophical and political accommodations. I'm - as the MTV generation says - "gay-friendly."


Yeah, nothing says gay-friendly like putting marriage in quotes.

CNN: "What killed Pontiac?"

Ed: making shitty cars. Mostly out of plastic body cladding.

This article is unnecessary.

Also, I Took a Leak at 9:46. That, Too, May Have Been a Factor.

This is amateur hour:

Even the markets dipped shortly after 10 a.m., though it was unclear if the alarm over the planes was a factor. Starting at 10:02 a.m., three main market indexes started dropping precipitously. The Dow Jones industrial average dropped 40 points in 10 minutes, starting 10:15 a.m., before it rebounded more than 50 points.


"Unclear" is really doing a lot of work in that sentence. The reporters, and certainly the editors, should know better than to write something so unsubstantiated. What Son of Pinch et al meant to say is "there is no correlation and it was a goddamn coincidence", but I guess that wouldn't make for good copy, amirite?

Stabbed in the back, again.


I'm pretty sure Kit Bond doesn't see the irony of using the Nazis' Dolchstoßlegende in a national policy debate about torture.

WALLACE: Senator Levin, let me get Senator Bond into this.

Let's talk about this issue of accountability, the possibility of prosecutions of top administration officials. You've heard Senator Levin talk repeatedly now about Defense Secretary Rumsfeld — and I'm not talking just about Abu Ghraib. I'm talking about the CIA interrogations.

You made the following statement this week, and let's put it up on the screen. "Our terror fighters need to know whether the president has their back or will stab them in the back." Senator, is that how you view any prosecutions, as a stab in the back?

BOND: I think that would be a stab in the back. I think he has already demoralized the CIA, put them in a CYA mode. I think we're going to have a culture in the CIA which had access to very — in very limited circumstances, to enhanced techniques.

And with that, Bond scores a truly rare twofer: using Der Dolchstoss and a Gestapo euphemism for torture (Verschärfte Vernehmung) in the same response.

Keep it up, Kit.

[cross-posted at FDL]

Deregulation

If we get government off agribusiness's back, the Free Market will protect our health and safety.

Also, no.

Just Call 'Em Faggots And Move On.

Putz:

As I noted a while back, some people are more interested in the pleasures of calling other people bigots than in actually advancing the cause of gay marriage.


Well, yes -- calling Maggie Gallagher a bigot is a pleasure. But advancing the cause of gay marriage and calling Maggie Gallagher a bigot is not a binary decision! We can do both! In fact, as Putz damn well knows, calling a cretin such as Maggie Gallagher a bigot -- because that's what she is -- is central to the inevitable acceptance of gay marriage.

Once the populace at large understands that, despite her protestations to the contrary, she and ilk simply cannot abide the idea of two men kissing -- and that what's at stake is not, say, a "states rights" issue (wink, wink), the sooner she and her malodorous opinions will be dismissed. The inflection point will be when she and her pals are seen as vicious cranks, beyond the bounds of the blogofascist community.

Needless to say, this cannot happen soon enough.

The Funniest Thing I've Read All Day.

The inimitable Assrocket:

The [Washington] Examiner obviously has some financial muscle behind it. Flying somewhat under the radar, it has gained a considerable following in Washington. With writers like [Byron] York and [Michael] Barone contributing reporting and commentary, the Examiner could become the center-right equivalent of the liberal Politico.



Words have no meaning.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

The rule of law.

Donna Brazile gets it. George Will, not so much.

Rick Perry begs the feds for help.

All hat, no cattle.

Keep kissing El Rushbo's butt, Goopers.

Because you're losing the Shane Murphys of the country every time you do.
Shane Murphy, the second-in-command aboard the American merchant ship seized by pirates, lashed out at Rush Limbaugh for the talk show host's racial characterization in discussing the rescue of the ship's captain by the Navy.

...

"It feels great to be home," Murphy said. "With the exception of Rush Limbaugh who is trying to make this into a race issue. It's disgusting."

Saturday, April 25, 2009

When I think of comedy...

...I do think of Fox News. Beyond that, this premise is flawed.

Glenn Beck is bringing his summer comedy stage tour to movie theaters nationwideso that no matter where you live, you can join! Bring your family and take a trip to your local movie theater this summer (complete with comfy seats and air conditioning) to examine common sense, which is no longer common! Glenn spares
no one, including politicians and celebrities, as he takes a look at the state of our culture and the frightening lack of common sense, especially in Washington. Explore the comedy behind the chaos that has become America. Hear the tales and revisit the wisdom that our grandfathers and forefathers relied on to build America.

I tried very hard to think of something with less potential to be funny. All I could think of was the Holocaust. I feel really, really bad for all the young people whose ignorant cracker parents are going to drag them to this and force them to think it's funny - and educational!

Friday, April 24, 2009

No such thing as right-wing extremists. Nope.

I'm sure he's just a liberal trying to make conservatives look bad.

An Oklahoma City man who announced on Twitter that he would turn an April 15 tax protest into a bloodbath was hit with a federal charge of making interstate threats last week, in what appears to be first criminal prosecution to stem from posts on the microblogging site.

Daniel Knight Hayden, 52, was arrested by FBI agents who identified him as the Twitter user CitizenQuasar. In a series of tweets beginning April 11, CitizenQuasar vowed to start a "war" against the government on the steps of the Oklahoma City Capitol building, the site of that city's version of the national "Tea Party" protests promoted by the conservative-leaning Fox News.

"START THE KILLING NOW! I am willing to be the FIRST DEATH!," read a tweet at 8:01 PM that day. "After I am killed on the Capitol Steps, like a REAL man, the rest of you will REMEMBER ME!!!," he added five minutes later. Then: "Send the cops around. I will cut their heads off the heads and throw the[m] on the State Capitol steps."


Says it all.


The state of conservatism, in a nutshell.

The Goracle brings down the hammer.

Ouch.




TS ADDS: I'm shocked, shocked! that a legislator who would debase herself by writing for RedState would be intellectually bankrupt. It's a shame this didn't come to pass...

What would Fridays be without Nooners?

Now she's back to opposing hearings.

Kill Me Now.


I believe one of the biggest problems with our shitty media -- the tendency to glorify mediocrity1 -- is epitomized by the sage words of Chuck Todd:

I kinda feel like Clete Boyer, the not so well-known third baseman for the New York Yankees in the early 1960s. Because the one thing you can’t take away from Boyer is this: he got to bat in the same lineup as Mickey Mantle. Well, I got to work with Tim Russert for a brief period of time; you can’t take that away from me.


Chuck Todd still sucks.

1See: Douthat, Ross.

Great Moments in Liberalism.

Yeah, Even The New Republic was, for a very long time, a marvelous magazine.

Now this is being published in its name:

I Don't Lose Sleep Over Terrorists Being Walled

I am quoting a New Republic colleague from this morning's editorial meeting. But frankly I, too, do not lose sleep over some terrorists being thrown against a supple wall a couple of times. And I find myself mystified why putting a terrorist in a box with a caterpillar is thought of at all as illegal and unforgivable.



Marty Peretz, the author of this drivel, is a kept man with an exceedingly wealthy wife. He doesn't need to work and it's a mystery why he keeps at it. The idea that he might lose sleep over, well, anything is laughable.

I'd threaten to cancel my subscription but I let it lapse ages ago.

QOTD.

Newell:

When Joe Biden dies soon, Tiger Woods will be the perfect replacement. Although we suspect that Tiger Woods, despite being a minority, is a very conservative Republican. You must remember that he plays golf at country clubs for a living.


Honestly, if a wingnut ever wrote something half that funny I would consider switching parties. Luckily, that will never happen ever. This guy, I'm reliably told, is the best they've got and he's maybe half as funny as ass cancer. Maybe.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Just. Shut. Up.

Stupid.

A Dog Not Barking [Jay Nordlinger]

Friends, have you read much about Iraq lately? I mean, in the news, and in the opinion columns (assuming there is a distinction)? For years, Iraq dominated our news and our commentary. But I have seen very few items about Iraq in recent weeks, or months.

Is it because George W. Bush is no longer president? Was Iraq simply a club with which to beat a hated president? (Hated by many who give us the news.) Is it that the Iraq War has been — dare we use the word — won? But weren’t we promised that the Iraq War was unwinnable?

Anyway, curious.


Wanker.

BAGHDAD — At least 75 people were killed and 120 wounded in two explosions in Iraq on Thursday that shook a quiet residential Baghdad neighborhood and a restive city north of the capital where Iranian tourists were attacked.

Not a witch hunt.

A "witch hunt" is a situation where the innocent are persecuted on made-up charges as part of a feverish campaign for punishment or retribution, usually driven by rage or fear/paranoia.

Since we know that actual laws and treaties have been broken, this ain't a witch hunt.

Smart. Very smart.

Anyone else scared shitless at the idea of a "million militiaman march"? And I don't mean scared in the way that the organizers think - i.e., that we will be terrified to see so many Real American Patriots in one place exercising their constitutional rights. I mean "scared" in the sense that they will probably lynch someone. (note: functioning video available here. "It will be no different than any other protest except everyone will be armed.")

In any case, you have to admire the massive brainpower that it takes to A) publicly identify oneself as a "militiaman" when militias are paranoid about law enforcement scheming to get them and B) congregate, armed to the tits, in one place so everyone will be easier to arrest.

The only way it could be easier is if law enforcement sent all the militiamen a letter informing them that they won a fabulous prize and should come down to the police station to pick it up.

Take Note, Teabaggers.

From that notoriously liberal rag, The Wall Street Journal:

Anyone who takes tea with friends will tell you: The parties are painless. It's the gossip that hurts.

In the same way, today's antitax, antispending movements aren't the problem, it's the dangerous misconceptions they spread about the government response to the financial crisis.

Their argument -- that huge tax hikes are coming or have been implemented to pay off bailouts for banking fat cats -- betrays a lack of understanding of the government's approach to solving the financial crisis. When protesters or critics complain about the $10 trillion-plus spent on the Wall Street bailout, you can understand how their estimates of the number of protesters in the streets last week were slightly, well, inflated.

The truth: No one's paying new taxes directly related to the bailout. And most of the government rescue packages offered to the banks have gone untapped or are being repaid.

It doesn't take a lot of checking to confirm this. ProPublica, the investigative journalism site, thoroughly tracks the multiple government programs and has filled in the blanks for many programs that are less than transparent. (Or, if you're on the go and want your bailouts simply illustrated, there's a cool little iPhone application called BailoutWatch that monitors more than two dozen government programs, such as the $245 billion Citigroup Inc. loan-loss provision and the $80 billion Credit Union Deposit Insurance Guarantee program.) ...

If the economy does recover within a year, we'll have spent a lot to rescue the financial system, but nowhere close to the 14-digit figure flogged by tea party protesters. ...

Our national debt already stands at $11 trillion. Most of that debt was run up in the last eight years, when government spending outpaced declining tax revenues. The Iraq war is close to costing the nation $1 trillion. Hurricane Katrina cost us about $110 billion.

We ran up a huge tab for our kids well before the bailout, but it's unlikely that such an inconvenient fact will be the talk of the next tea party.



Hehindeedy!

Willard's definition of "bipartisanship."

I'm taking on all comers -- Willard will be the GOP nominee in 2012.

Any takers
?

Republicans call for bipartisanship, propose more tax cuts.

Eric Cantor & John Boehner write Obama a letter.
As you approach your first 100 days in office, House Republicans remain committed to working with you and your Administration to address the needs of hardworking American families and small businesses that continue to face unprecedented challenges. We believe that if Washington can put aside petty politics and unite for the good of the American people, we can accomplish great things.
...
Unfortunately, there has been a sad lack of bipartisanship. This lack of bipartisanship has been a major detriment to your stated desire to change the way that Washington works.
So what do they propose?
  • Allowing small businesses to take a tax deduction equal to 20% of their income...
  • Providing a $5,000 refinancing credit to empower families to pay for mortgage refinancing...
  • Providing a $15,000 homebuyer credit for all purchases of primary residences...
  • Immediately suspending the capital gains tax on newly acquired assets for the next two years...
  • Reducing the lowest individual tax rates from 15% to 10% and from 10% to 5%.

Still all they've got.

QOTD.

Rod Dreher:

I think if I were paying that kind of money [$13,000/annum] for my kid to sit in class and ponder what Shakespeare may or may not have done with his pecker, I'd go through the roof.


But don't worry -- Rod doesn't have a homo fixation!

This Will Surprise No One.


VDH:

I do not understand the morality of the Left.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Ambinder has left the reservation.

Guess the Teabagging movement didn't do it for him.
My Republican friends keep asking me when I'll take the GOP seriously again and why I've stopped writing about ticky-tak political gamesmanship and GOP consultant tricks. When they're a serious party with serious ideas, then we can talk.

Pot, Kettle, Etc.

K-Lo is unhappy that Secretary Clinton rightly mocked Dick Cheney. Presumably, K-Lo would like to see a former vice president of these here United States (and "a concerned and well-informed citizen," at that!) treated with more deference, more respect. Sort of like this, right?


Eat a rosary, Lopez.

Conservatives, homophobic?

Just where DO we get that idea?

I'll Pass, Thanksverymuch.

I cannot imagine a less interesting story than this one. Weekends and brain cells are simply too precious -- and rapidly diminishing -- to spend any time reading 8,000 words on William Buckley & family -- a man whose claim to fame is, increasingly, that he was the last conservative who wasn't abjectly retarded.

And anyway, after suffering through an account of how the old man frolicked naked with Ross Douthat, I've had my fill.

Fixing Mikey Gerson.

The prospect of investigations into the who/what/where of torture has made Mikey Gerson hilariously incoherent. Thank heavens for InstaPutz!

HH: What do you…I think this is an enormous error. I think this is the launching of a witch hunt. What do you think?

MG: I think it’s a terrible error for a couple of reasons. One of them is that I think that the release of these memos, and now the talk of these prosecutions, is creating an atmosphere in which people in our intelligence services, people in our government, are going to be very timid about pursuing absolutely essential elements in the war on terror torturing people. This is creating an atmosphere that’s more like the pre-9/11 atmosphere when people were complacent and afraid to confront these problems torture people. And I’m afraid that we’ve returned to that attitude, that we’re going to return to some of those outcomes eventually. And so I think it’s a serious challenge. Now let me make one more point here, which is if there are going to be investigations of people who knew about these things, and who approved of them, then that’s going to have to include Nancy Pelosi and Senator Rockefeller, who were both briefed, along with other members of the Intelligence community in Congress about thirty times on all of these techniques torture beginning in 2002. The fact of the matter is that this represents what was happening in the immediate aftermath of 9/11. the intelligence community had no idea if there were going to be further attacks, how large the al Qaeda network was in the United States. And they were pursuing by their best lights, according to their best legal interpretation, matters that they thought were essential to American security. You can’t criminalize that torture.

Glenn Reynolds teaches at one of the most prestigious law schools in the country a law school in Tennessee.

#59.

Maybe if Putz publishes some more articles on space law, or writes a sequel to An Army of Putzen, UTK will pass Cardozo, wherever the hell that is Houston.

Tagging

So these bumper stickers (available in convenient 10-packs!) are pretty awesome:

Way to deflect law enforcement attention from your activities, militiamen. Be sure to peel these off your bumpers before car-bombing a courthouse. That should buy you a few extra minutes to escape.

Hahahahahaha!


Someone named Veronique de Rugy thinks you're all idiots:

Even the editorial board of the Washington Post isn't impressed with Obama's fiscal-responsability [sic] plan.


I, too, am shocked that the enablers of David Broder, Richard Cohen, Jackson Diehl, Michael Gerson, Fred Hiatt, Robert Kagan, Charles Krauthammer, Kathleen Parker, Marc Thiessen and George Will would have a problem with this.

Which One of These Is Not Like The Other?

Jeremy Lott, with whom BT has previously tangled (see comments), is a bit of a zealot about getting rid of the Vice Presidency.

Like most zealots, he doesn't mind going overboard to make an otherwise reasonable point:

The vice presidency has also put troubling and divisive men only a heartbeat away. Aaron Burr, Henry Wallace, Al Gore and Dick Cheney came too close for comfort.


The first sentence is indisputably true. But re: the second: show your work, Mr. Lott. Or did Al Gore shoot a man in the face while the nation slept?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Since when is 2% of the budget "lame"? When it's Obama scrutinizng it.

Putz obviously doesn't read the NY Times, because if he did, he wouldn't ask stupid questions like this. Krugman, for those who've been paying attention, has been extremely critical/skeptical of Obama's economic policies from the start.

Also, someone who obsesses about earmarks -- which comprise about 2-3% of the budget -- to the degree that he posts this cute little piggie over and over for several years and touts Porkbusters as the greatest political advocacy ever (pre-Teabagging) probably shouldn't be throwing around words like "lame."

McCain, grandstanding again.

Please.

It's fairly intuitive that veterans aren't more likely to be extremists, but that the subset of veterans coming off three or four tours in Iraq and Afghanistan who are right-wing fringers and have weapons and combat training and might have PTSD are a hell of a lot more dangerous than your average David Duke fan.

See McVeigh, Tim, the DC sniper, Charles Whitman, Lee Harvey Oswald, etc.

Support Marcy!

In case you didn't know, my FDL colleague Marcy Wheeler managed to scoop the entire world on the torture memos.

This is a good cause.

Ted Nugent.

Still crazy.

Love the Putzian "more guns, less violence" crap.

QOTD, totally out of context

Via Putz, from the intellectual Chernobyl that is Reason:

When Los Angeles’ graying hipster population lost its finest radio station in December, an unlikely culprit was fingered. Mark Sovel, music director for Indie 103.1...
Mark, take this doll and show the jury where the hipsters touched you.

Powerline Delivers!

Once Obama ok'd the possibility of a torture investigation, you just knew Powerline's reaction would be awesome.

It is. In a post entitled -- I shit you not -- "Criminalizing Conservatism," Assrocket says,

Many liberals don't just want to defeat conservatives at the polls, they want to send them to jail. Toward that end, they have sometimes tried to criminalize what are essentially policy differences. ...


You hear that, people? Torture is a "policy difference."

The idea of prosecuting a lawyer because a wrote a legal analysis with which the current Attorney General disagrees is so outrageous that I can't believe it would be seriously considered. Still, President Obama and his party may achieve another objective by publicly making this kind of threat: deterring Republicans from serving in public life. For many Republicans considering whether to accept an appointment to government office, the prospect that they may be subjected to criminal prosecution if the next administration is Democratic could well tip the balance in favor of remaining in private life.

I guess this is a threat???

Not only is this a shoo-in for the Kippies, but it may yet lead to the creation of new categories.

Michael Keaton.

I went to see Letterman last night. It was pretty bad -- it airs on Friday! -- but there's a silver lining: Expect the wingnuts to complain loudly about Michael Keaton's potshots at blogs and Twitter.

Personally, I was not aware that Keaton was still alive, so his remarks were kinda funny on a number of levels.

...Oh, and there's a bit with Anderson Cooper and an orphanage that's really quite wonderful.

Monday, April 20, 2009

QOTD.

As I said, I'm no fan of Politico's The Arena, but this, from a former Republican congressman is very, very good:

There continue to be many disturbing consequences from America’s ongoing economic disaster. One, too seldom noted, is that we now have a subset of Americans who apparently have too little to do and thus too much time on their hands, some of which is taken up with silliness. The economy is still in the pits, Americans are still coming home from Iraq in body bags, presidents (past and present) continue to stretch the limits of constitutional authority, personal spending is down and government spending is up, unemployment is going up not down, Iran has just sentenced an American journalist to prison, north Korea is firing off rockets, and Newt is railing about . . . a handshake.

Appeasing weak Jimmy Carters everywhere.

They really think this will work?

Rudy Giuliani Is A Bad Fabulous Spokesman for Traditional Marriage.

I think it's wonderful that this douchebag is on the vanguard of a dying movement:

Giuliani, who is slated to address a Republican fund-raising gala in Albany tonight in what is widely described as further proof of his interest in running for governor, said he's committed to the traditional definition of marriage.

"Marriage, I believe, both traditionally and legally, has always been between a man and a woman and should remain between a man and woman," said Giuliani, who has been married three times.

Or a man and a second cousin, Mr. Giuliani added.

What Goldberg Hath Wrought.

Via Putz, Rand Simberg is a crazy person who says that anger is

an intrinsic feature of leftism, which is based on a permanent state of envy, class warfare and seeking “social justice” and “equality.” Which is why it is leftists (from Hitler to Stalin to Mao and Pol Pot) who have been responsible for hundreds of millions of violent deaths over the past century. You have to break the eggs to make the social-justice omelette through the collective will.


Thank you, New York Times, for giving this lovely man a larger platform.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

What a mess.

This image (of the organizer of the Houston Teabagging on the 15th) gave me simultaneous explosive diarrhea and violent projectile vomiting. Yet after all that my bathroom still looks better than this:



You'd think she'd be thinner given how often the townspeople chase her with pitchforks, torches, and Holy Water.

Friday, April 17, 2009

What Glenn Reynolds means by "Hmmm."

HMMM: Some crazy loon that Fox got a hold of says Elvis is alive and since I'm a passive aggressive little cowardly wuss, using the word "Hmmm" absolves me from taking a stand on the veracity of the report.

I Do Not Think That Word Means What Roger Simon Thinks It Means. [updated]


Well, you knew this was coming:

Everyone (except a sadist) abhors torturing, but no one knows what they would do in an inidividual situation until they are confronted by it - and those situations are always changing. That includes Barack Obama, George Bush, you, me and Ariana [sic] Huffington. [Ariana [sic] Huffington - why did that name come up regarding torture?-ed. Free association?] So what we are dealing with in the release of these memos is pure political smear.


Emphasis mine.

Roger has always had a funny definition of smear. In the past, it's been employed to describe, among other things, Colin Powell's suggestion that Republicans called Obama a Muslim and a friend of terrorists; allegations that Sarah Palin wasn't "down to earth"; and Joe Klein's choice words for neoconservatives.

Basically, Roger's got two brain cells and they're at war with each other.

...You also knew this was coming, right? If Roger Simon writes something unusually stupid and Putz doesn't link to it, does it make a sound?

[via G.]

John Ziegler, American Dumbass.

Daniel Glover, with Putz's help, is bitching that

journalist John Ziegler was arrested for trying to ask questions at an event where Katie Couric of CBS News received an award for her interview with Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin last fall.


First of all, if Ziegler is a journalist than I'm a neurosurgeon. An obnoxious prick with a video camera doth not a journalist make.

Second, he was on private property and admits, "I was told that only media outlets that had been invited by the award winners could be inside this event."

So I'm confused as to why he believes he ought to be allowed on the premises. Get on the guestlist, fucko -- or go home.

The only good thing to come out of this nothingburger is the video of this ridiculously stupid man, which HuffPo says

doesn't so much depict a stoic documentarian heroically facing authority figures as it does a man who seems eager to restage the "Don't tase me, bro!" video, by laughing maniacally, flopping around, and acting as if he is in the throes of a particularly thunderous bowel movement.


Perfect.

Cornyn vs. Perry.

How long before KBH jumps on the bandwagon?

Derbyshire Makes a Funny.

Hahaha!

It's been a while since I advertized The New Criterion on NRO. It is therefore high time I reminded NRO readers that TNC is simply the best conservative magazine of high culture that ever was.


That's sort of like being the tallest Munchkin.

Resolved:

We refer to Mr. Reynolds by any number of different monikers here on Instaputz - Putz, the Professor, Instarube, Dipshit, Glenn, and so on. I'd like to propose a new one which I will be using henceforth in honor of his all-in teabagging wankfest of the past few months:

Bilbo T. Baggins (acceptable alternate spelling: Bilbo Teabaggins)

Borrowed lovingly from Frisky Dingo. So it is written, so shall it be.

Hehindeedy!

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c
Tea Party Tyranny
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Economic CrisisPolitical Humor

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Get that person of color in there, Glenn!

All white people, all white people, all white people, all white people, all white---damn, can't we get a brother in there? Oh, good. There's a closeup.

Fixed.

...adding, looking at it again, it's even worse. The black guy isn't actually doing anything remarkable, isn't holding a sign, isn't wearing a funny costume, isn't even looking at the camera. Why the closeup? Pretty obvious.

Less popular than the Spice Girls.

262,000 people does not a political movement make.

Big Media Ed.

The work of our Teabagger-in-Chief is turning up all over the place.


It's the thought that counts.

...That was fast!

Anatomy of a bullshitting

From my teabaggin' experience:


Ed’s physical count of people at the tea party: 150
Ed’s acceptance of his friends’ estimates in place of his own: 200~250
Commenter in Teabaggin’ thread: “closer to 500″
Bloomingtonteaparty.com: “Perhaps 1000 PATRIOTS!”

Get those bullshit overinflated numbers straight, boys.

le Carré Wept.

Oy. Let me be the first to say this is a really terrible idea:

Rich Lowry: I think you know more about spy thrillers than I do, clearly.

Hugh Hewitt: No, I’ve just interviewed a lot of thriller writers.

RL: You should write one. You should write one.

HH: No, I think it’s too hard. I think dialogue is really hard.

RL: We’ll collaborate. We’ll collaborate on the next one.



Is it too early to crown this Shittiest Book of the Millennium? The fact that it hasn't gotten beyond the discussion stage should be no problem -- after all, embryos are people too, amirite ha ha ha?

Make It Stop. Keep It Coming.

Given a choice between a slow, painful death and this...

THE TEA PARTIES: Nine hours of coverage from around the nation, on PJTV.


I know I've said this before, but the lack of self-awareness among Putz and the rest of the feebs is stunning. And I could not be more amused.

Ed the Teabagger, cont'd.

(See the complete tale of awesomeness here)

This is Ed, undercover and trying to look angry (GRRRRRRRR!) about his entirely reasonable tax burden. Ed is a sexy bitch who cannot be tread upon.



HEY THAT RHYMES!




Ahhhh, racism! STILL AWESOME!



Ahhh, stupidity. Still awesome!


WOOOOOOO! STATES' RIGHTS! A noble concept that has always been used to defend other noble concepts. NULLIFICATION CRISIS II!



He knows his audience.



Heeeeeeeeeeere come the Indoor kids.


Rule 1: Do not oppose that which you cannot spell.


(Note: I actually laughed at "Don't tax me, Bro." I tip my hat to that sign.)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Estimate the size of Putz's balls.

I'm very excited. Will the Putz do what event promoters are expected to do and massage the attendance figures upward but plausibly, say, by claiming 150,000 if there is evidence of 100,000? Or will he get greedy, piss on plausibility, and go for the gusto?

I think we know the answer. Idiots can't help themselves; at some point in the next few days Glenn Reynolds will claim that there were 1,000,000 people or more at these circle jerks. Why? Because he's dumber than the turnip truck from which he fell and this whole spectacle has been a single, extended act of masturbation for him.

HAHAHAHAHA times 6.022^23!

OMG!
A bare minimum of 25,650 people turned out for tea party protests across the country today, according to news estimates, a survey of reports from local newspapers, TV affiliates, and wire services shows.
All of that nationwide for the equivalent of a badly-attended Obama campaign rally? In one small city?

Pathetic.

Ed goes Teabaggin'

I will have a large essay in pictures ready for tomorrow, but I just got back from a Teabagging event and HOLY SHIT I have enough material to blog about for about 30 years. Here is just a little taste (see the whole essay in pictures here):


Grassroots!


...Bless you,
John Cole:

Solid thinking, teabaggers! Seriously. That is almost a Darwin Awards entry- “Watch me throw this package over the fence while snipers sit on the roof of the White House!”

Fixed TS's earlier post


I never claimed to be good at photoshop, so excuse what I threw together in Paint in five minutes. [via]

I coined a new word today.

InstaCurse.

Can You Feel the Excitement?

From the Ohio teabagging:


Roger L. Simon professes to be confused at the em ess em's reluctance to waste resources on teabagging converage. I would suggest that perhaps hordes of overprivileged angry white people just isn't that interesting.

[via]

Hehindeedy!

Well said, Sullivan.

If you favor no bailouts, then say so. If you want to see the banking system collapse, then say so. If you think the recession demands no fiscal stimulus, then say so. If you favor big cuts in Medicare, Medicaid, social security and defense, then say so. I keep waiting for Reynolds to tell us what these protests are for; and he can only spin what they they are against.


He's for robot sex, I think.

Now taking bets...

On the first wingnut blogger to blame Teabagging turnout on the poor weather across the midwest and east coast.

Extra-bonus points for predicting the first one to use a variant of: "About 150 (insert picture of 12 people) brave souls turned out to make their voices heard despite the chilling rain..."

It won't be Putz, of course, since he already has a dozen posts in his queue about how huge the turnout was. And if you really need to read one more massive rant about how delusional this whole experiment is, well, here.

Nicholas Kristof is a Wingnut Blogger.

The evidence is solid. In an interview with Hugh Hewitt, he makes this startling admission:

I know that I have a tendency to eat too many Cheetos.


Reports that Mr. Kristof lives in his parents' basement are unconfirmed as of press time.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Glenn Reynolds: Clinton created the Dept. of Homeland Security, authorized warantless wiretaps, held people without warrants and tortured people.

Uh-huh. It's still all Clinton's fault.

As a reminder, real libertarians knew what the deal was.

Rhetorical questions

Asking the freeper message board "Should Norm Coleman concede?" is roughly akin to being the guy on the infomercial who says "Surely the price can't get any lower than that....can it?" The responses are ten kinds of awesome. The ex-Senator and reigning 2008 Ginandtacos.com Cocksucker of the Yeartm would prevail over Franken if only he heeded advice like this:

never. He should also be forming his own militia.

(Comment courtesy of this future Federal courthouse bomber and Uncle who isn't allowed to be around The Kids unsupervised)

Evil government illegally tracking freedom fighters!

Crazier, still.

Hehindeedy:
So what's the problem? As the National Review/Bush-following-Right has been telling us for years now, there's nothing to worry about if you've done nothing wrong and have nothing to hide. The first duty of the Government is to protect us all -- keep us safe and warm from all the scary things out there, like a Good Daddy does -- and if they need to trample on some lofty privacy ideals and so-called civil liberties concerns and supposed Constitutional safeguards, well: that's just how it is. It takes a real paranoid hysteric to think that federal government officials have nothing better to do than target domestic political opponents. And besides, what good is the Constitution if we're all dead at the hands of domestic McVeigh-like Terrorists? After all, the Constitution isn't a suicide pact. Remember all of that? I certainly do.

Out-of-Context QOTD.

Rod Dreher:

Exterminating unborn life is just one more good way to pinch pennies in these tough economic times[.]


This is a deeply unfortunate misreading of Keynes.

Star Parker vs. a college freshman

We say a lot of critical things about Instarube, but at least he writes in comprehensible, correctly spelled and punctuated English.

Would that I could say the same about Star Parker. Here's a hint, Star: when Microsoft Word puts a squiggly line under something, that means it violates one or more basic rules of grammar. I bet she thinks that the squiggly red lines are the software telling her that she just made a REALLY great point.

Heterosexuality Seems Less Appealing Than It Did 5 Minutes Ago.

George: Uncle Leo's having regular sex?
Jerry: Yeah, I know. It devalues the whole thing.


Isn't this special? One evil piece of shit interviews another piece of shit. Kismet!

Rod Dreher: Maggie, you and I are on the same side of the gay marriage issue, but I am pessimistic about our chances for success. You, however, are optimistic. What am I missing?

Maggie Gallagher: Vaclav Havel mostly. "Truth and love wlll [sic] prevail over lies and hate." On that basis Havel took on the Soviet empire. Where is that invincible empire now?


Yeah, you understand correctly: Gay marriage = Evil Empire. It's a new one for me, too.

That's Because You're An Idiot.

From a Q&A with Andrew Rosenthal, Times editorial page editor:

Q. I love the editorial page; it is the first thing I turn to in the morning. My question is as much of a comment as a question. I find it a bit peculiar that the two women columnists, Maureen Dowd and Gail Collins, are satirical and humorous. I adore their writing, and generally think they are spot on, but it is almost like you cannot get a "serious" woman columnist. Do you agree? I also must add that I think the world of Verlyn Klinkenborg. Thanks and keep up the great work.
— Paul Bilsky, Manchester Center, Vt.

A. O.K., so I admit. I’m answering this because it’s a slow, hanging ball. First, I love Verlyn, too. And second, I would be the last person alive to suggest that Maureen Dowd and Gail Collins are not serious columnists. They are indeed, very serious.



[via J-Ro]

TEAPARTY!

Still not working.
Fifty-eight percent of people questioned in a CNN/Opinion Research
Corporation survey released Tuesday morning say Obama has a clear plan to deal with the recession. That's more than double the 24 percent who think that Republicans in Congress have a clear plan on the economy. Nearly three in four polled say the GOP doesn't have a clear economic plan.

Sad.

And by sad I mean funny. Deeply funny.

ANDREW BREITBART: Jon Stewart, Democratic Shill. “If the targets were switched and Democrats had the same five-day-a-week bull’s-eye placed on their heads, no one doubts that financier George Soros and Media Matters would wage a well-funded rampage to destroy Mr. Stewart and his scribes. Nancy Pelosi would be demanding a comedy Fairness Doctrine. And ‘The Daily Show’ and its partner in crime ‘The Colbert Report’ would be taken off the air within 30 days of electoral primaries and within 60 days of general elections to comply with McCain-Feingold.”

First of all, the fact that wingnuts have circled back to Stewart suggests they've run out of targets. This is heartening.

Second, this -- “If the targets were switched and Democrats had the same five-day-a-week bull’s-eye placed on their heads..." -- is bullshit.

We did! It was just a massive, throbbing load of FAIL. Not so much a bull's-eye really, but a pathetic, incontinent, slushy mess.

My advice to Republicans: try winning a mid-term election. Then develop a late night show that doesn't suck ass.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Teh Sadly is teh funny.

Hehindeedy!

Breaking news from scientists and the Institute of Sadness

Holy sweet merciful shitballs, this is the saddest thing I've ever seen: a Teabagger rally and "meeting" in "Second Life."

Maybe in Second Life the author of Conservative First actually has some commenters and readers, because the blog clearly lacks both here in First Life.

Glenn Reynolds says Teabagging is all about deficits.

My response to Putz's NY Post op-ed is here.

Behoove This.

Via Putz, my Facebook buddy Dan Riehl writes,

True story. Many, many years ago I was given a bit of advice by a very liberal, extremely brilliant and well-educated literature professor. I've never forgotten it.

To paraphrase: never pay attention to any pretentious, self-important idiot who uses the phrase "it behooves us". They're far too insecure and strained to impress to be trusted.


I totally agree!

-- "Of late, we have served the Chinese an attractive bounty of tasty carrots. It behooves us to combine our largesse with a suitably menacing set of sticks." (Michael Ledeen)

-- "But Mr. Singer is on to something important and it behooves us, especially those of us who are supporters of the free market, to heed what he has to say."(Roger Kimball)

-- "And I think it behooves us to have a respect for people who actually run things and do things like the Governor of Alaska." (Mark Steyn)

-- "B
ut when we the voters understand that this is a "two for the price of one" deal, and the price is very high, it behooves us to pay attention to the substance on offer from both." (Lisa Schiffren)

-- "I think it behooves us to clarify what is, and is not, a timewaster." (Jonah Goldberg)

-- "Until all peoples are free to travel and speak with each other, it behooves us to keep Radio Free Europe, Radio Liberty, Radio Marti, and Voice of America broadcasting the truth to those who are denied it." (Ronald Reagan)

Rick Warren, History FAIL.

In part 2 of his interview with Mr. Exhaustion, Hugh Hewitt says, "if the church isn’t renewing itself into deeper roots, it’s going to be done. So what do you think? Is it done?"

Replies Warren:

First place, it’s not going to be done, because it can’t be done, because all of history is dependant [sic] upon it. It’s the exact opposite. The only thing that’s going to last is the Church. The Church has outlasted every single thing else including the annual covers of Time and Newsweek at Easter that call for the demise of Christianity every year for 2,000 years.



First of all, I thought Jesus preached humility; this sounds like hubris. Second, it just ain't true that The Church has "outlasted every single thing else."

Christianity's been around for 2,000 years, which is indeed respectable. Judaism, however, is the world's oldest monotheistic religion, and has been practiced for more than 4000 years. And still is, I'm told.

...As nonynony points out, Hinduism has also been around a looooong time. Of course, it ain't a contest. My point is that Rick Warren is a big fat idiot.

"No taxation without representation!"

Really, dipshits? I mean, really?

This week will go a lot more smoothly for us if we just accept that nothing these people say and do is going to bear the slightest connection to reality.

Like SharkWeek, only not awesome

Welcome to TeabaggingWeektm on the internet. It's really unfortunate that we here at Instaputz have been making fun of this non-movement for months already, because I almost lack the energy to make fun of it for another whole week.

Almost.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Palin engaged in battle of wits with 18 year old unemployed babydaddy

And somehow is losing.

Oh wait, I know how. She's retarded.

For Serious?

Yikes. This, from a site I love, deserves the scorn being heaped upon it by the right. Says C&L:

I wonder which principled member of our corporate media will point out that, in the big picture, the Somali pirates are acting in self-defense?


Please, compadres, do not go down this road.

Hamsher brings the hammer down on Glenn Reynolds.

Well played, Jane.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

George Packer nails it.

So smart.
Obama seems to recognize that nothing has shredded the civic fabric in recent years more than the harsh inequalities of finance capitalism and the market ideology of a generation of American politics. This is not the rigid mentality of an engineer of human souls; it’s the attitude of a community organizer.

It’s also a pretty good description of what used to pass for conservatism—a sense that social relations and institutions are fragile things, and that, while government can’t create wealth or impose equality, at moments like this it has to establish a new equilibrium between individuals and huge economic forces, so that society doesn’t crumble. But modern conservatism has grown into exactly the opposite of its origins, in Burke’s respect for tradition and Madison’s promotion of countervailing checks on concentrations of power. Instead, like any revolutionary creed, it is abstract, hard-edged, and indifferent to experience and existing conditions.

Most of the remaining congressional Republicans seem content to adhere to this creed, and to allow banks, car companies, and homeowners to be crushed under the invisible foot of the market—all that matters is the consistent application of principle.
I don't think I've read a better analysis of the banality of the teabagging GOP.

Sociopath.

What, me worry?

Barely 80 days after turning the Oval Office over to President Barack Obama, Bush is emerging from seclusion to begin his post-presidency. He has started giving speeches, joined an off-road bicycle club, thrown out the first pitch at the Texas Rangers' opener and scheduled a trip to China to speak at an economic forum.

...

"He's doing great," said Mark Langdale, a longtime friend and president of the George W. Bush Foundation. "He's very happy."

Conversation With a Hot Married Woman in a Red Hook Bar.

[In my defense, I assumed what she was wearing was not a wedding band, but simply decorative. I don't as a practice hit on married women.]

TS: So... how old are you?
MW: 34. And you?
TS: I just turned 30, but we're in the same decade so you can't call me kid and....
MW: Oh, you're adorable.


Toufuckingché, Married Woman.

Friday, April 10, 2009

The Many Chins Faces of Maggie Gallagher.

"We're out of cheesecake?!"



"I'm a bunny rabbit!"



"Getting sleepy... Shouldn't have eaten that second turkey..."



"Maybe if I fix my hair I won't look so much like K-Lo..."



"Why do people keep calling me a baguette? Yummers."