Saturday, October 21, 2006

Putz explains why the Democrats will lose.

Putz is getting a lot of attention for managing to come up with six lame reasons why the GOP will lose in November. Lame, because the two biggest issues, Iraq and Bush's unpopularity, weren't on the list. Somehow the posting of this highly flawed list is supposed have us all believe that he's just "calling 'em like he sees 'em," as an honest-to-goodness umpire from the sidelines, and that he's not really rooting for the GOP to win, even though he just voted Republican. As absurdly transparent this charade is, even people on Kos are buying this nonsense.

But Putz has been carefully compiling a much, much longer and more absurd list of why the Democrats will lose. Let's take a look:

1. There are so many GOP scandals in the news that they'll all cancel each other out and people will vote Republican. Seriously.

2. Mean lefty bloggers are outing gay Republicans, which will create a backlash and cause people to vote Republican.

3. John Edwards' wife said something mean about Hillary. (I am not making this up.)

4. The Democrats will investigate President Bush, and people don't want the Great Leader to be investigated, so they'll vote GOP.

5. As bad as the Republcians are, the Democrats are worse.

6. Karl Rove's secret weapon is that he knows that Democratic "mouth breathers" like John Murtha just won't shut up.

7. John Murtha may run for Majority Leader, and he's "unserious" about terrorism, so people will vote to keep the GOP majority.

8. There will be a higher voter turnout. That always helps Republicans. Always.

9. The press will start looking for Democratic scandals like the phony Harry Reid scandal, because there are so many Republican scandals that they'll want to appear fair.

10. The economy.

11. The oh-so-popular President Bush is turning things around for the GOP.

Are you laughing yet?

12. Hugo Chavez's and Ahmadenijad's speeches at the UN remind people that keeping Republicans in power is important, even though these two have become more powerful and dangerous since Republicans have been in power.

13. Bush's poll numbers.

Now I know you're laughing.

Attention blogosphere: stop giving Putz credit for coming up with 6 lousy reasons the Republicans will lose. He's been posting bogus reasons the Democrats will lose since freaking August.

1 comment:

Isaac said...

If both the Democrats and the Republicans are going to lose in November, who does he think is going to win?

My guess is--not the American people.