No, seriously, is this a fucking joke?

I have lost all ability to differentiate between earnest commentary and satire thanks to Ian Robinson's "Right Wing Women Rock."

The only sensible footwear you'll find in a right-wing woman's closet are the Nike cross-trainers that go with her gym membership.

Everything else has a three-inch heel. Minimum. Left-wing drabs recycle. Right-wing women shop.

A right-wing woman hits the gym, swings past Sobey's and has dinner on the table by the time you get home ... while her left-wing counterpart is still stuck in traffic listening to Sarah McLachlan on her iPod and feeling morally superior about her carrot choices. And when that plate of food is put in front of you by the right-wing hottie you had the good sense to marry, it will be 100% tofu-free. If you're lucky, she just remembered to buy steak and forgot about the carrot entirely.

The good thing is, I can't imagine this getting any worse!

And in case you're not convinced, to indicate the utter superiority of the right-wing woman over the left-wing variant ... just turn on The View. The left has Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg. We've got Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

Checkmate.

Uh. Well, I, uh, guess I never thought of it that way. Perhaps my deep, deep skepticism about anyone who is sexually aroused by Elizabeth Hasselbeck prevents me from seeing your point. Great argument, though! She may sound like a pageant contestant who suffered repeated head injuries, but's she's way hotter,* which makes her way better!

*(As long as one finds leather muppets attractive. I mean, if you're whole point is that she's "sexy" and therefore Better, at least pick someone who doesn't look like an old catcher's mitt to make your idiotic point.)