The key to success

We at Instaputz Headquarters (pictured here and known as the Fortress of Solid-Dudes to avoid copyright infringement) have noted that Sarah Palin's threat to sue the Alaska blog which reported rumors that she is being investigated by the FBI has brought tremendous attention to that site. Not only has Ms. Moore's blog received tremendous traffic, but she is now an invited guest on Olbermann and a number of other big talk shows.

The market has spoken. Salacious gossip is rewarded. Accordingly, Instaputz would like to report the following:

1. The source of Mitt Romney's political power, wealth, and campaign funds is a hoard of Nazi gold.
2. Mark Sanford's Argentine mistress is 12.
3. Mark Foley is currently employed as a counselor at a secluded summer camp for confused boys aged 14-17.
4. John McCain died in 2007. The man who ran for President in 2008 was just a shaved Wilford Brimley.
5. Sarah Palin's husband Todd was a member of an extremist group that advocated secession.

You heard it here first.