Next Week: "Damn Pushy Jews and What To Do About Them!"

"If your oppressors' major charge against you is that you're stupid, violent, sexually insatiable, childishly drawn to shiny objects, and not to be trusted around expensive mechanical objects, how do you help yourself by demanding millions of dollars for chanting 100-decibel doggerel about how many gold chains and guns you're wearing while you screw all the beautiful blondes in your neighborhood in the back seat of your Bentley Mulsanne? Oh, and by the way, you'll actually KILL anyone who claims he's wearing MORE chains while screwing MORE beautiful blondes in the back seats of even MORE expensive Bentleys."

Yes, Dr. Martin Luther Old Punk once again tackles The Negro Problem. He's predictably screwy, but also comes up with a kind of solution:

Treat them as you would anybody else -- with suspicion and distaste -- like those damn pushy Jews, workaholic Koreans, money-grubbing Indians, getting-by-on-looks-alone blondes, evil chicks who sleep their way to the top, old boy networks who've always had the inside track. You know what I'm talking about.

I'll say it again: The prospect of this filthy old bastard living in a country presided over by Barack Obama amuses me to no end.