Well that didn't take long.

Underneath Chuck Norris' beard is a fist, and in his column "Will the 112th Congress Finally Get it Right?" is a list of questions that someone as awesome as Chuck Norris should be able to answer without difficulty:

As the 112th Congress officially convenes this week, the questions most of us have on our minds are: Will it finally...

--Reduce government spending?

--Reduce the national deficit?

--Reduce the national debt?

--Reduce earmarks and pork?

--Reduce briberies by lobbyists and special interests?

--Reduce Americans' taxes?

--Reduce illegal immigration?

--Reduce our foreign entanglements?

--Reduce government overreach into our lives?

--Reduce government lying, cheating and corruption?

--Reduce constitutional disobedience?

...And so stabilize the nation and economy?

No, no, no, no, no, OH HELL YES, no, no, no, no, no, and no.

Thanks for playing.