Friday, July 02, 2010

Jeez, Donald Douglas... least have the decency to thank us for quadrupling the traffic to your site.*

As long as you keep coming back here, though, I have a few questions.

1. Do you frequently find yourself angry about having to stop blogging because your mom needs to use the phone? **

2. Do you understand the difference between good attention and bad attention? ***

3. Do you realize that using the word "fuck" a lot does not make you more correct?

4. Is your sense of irony particularly robust or did you write "Just saying you're right doesn't actually, you know, make you right." without the slightest hint of self-awareness? ****

5. You do realize that having literally hundreds of posts and not one single comment on your website (which really nails the 1997 vintage Geocities look, bt-dub) means that you have absolutely nothing interesting, relevant, or entertaining to say, right? Who in the holy hell are you talking to? *****

6. Robert Stacy McCain called and asked us to remind you about calling him in the middle of the night and mailing him vials of your blood. Be good.

OK, well, I'm sure you have to get back to the Wings of the Luftwaffe marathon or the latest Aryan Nations newsletter or fingerbanging a pack of Cub Scouts or whatever it is you do on a Friday morning. So, thank you for your time and good luck with your shitty website that no one reads. There is an important lesson here about picking fights with people smarter than you, which in your case means there is a lesson here about picking fights with anyone except Rod Dreher.

* "Quadruple" means "four times", in this case 4 x 3 visitors = 12 visitors.
** Alternatively, I suppose it is possible that there is an internet-capable computer in the Orange Julius stockroom that you are allowed to use on breaks.
*** For example, lots of people were staring at you when you were in the mall arcade and you took our your penis. But that was BAD attention. Remember all the sirens and those questions you had to answer from the police man?
**** Seriously? You're serious?
***** Aside from the many voices of regret, anger, and forbidden desire in your head.

No comments: