"Conservative Bible Project"

Conservapedia, the Phyllis Schlafly-funded trainwreck that brought us unicorns and vast oceans full of retarded, has launched a project to edit the godless socialist liberal Bible and create a "Conservative Bible."

My favorite part is that point #3 is "not dumbing down the reading level" of the Bible, noting that "the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level." Then point #10 is "preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities."

So, don't dumb down the language. Just be sure that all the sentences are really short and easily comprehensible by people with minimal reading skills.