Really, what could go wrong?

"Citizen militia" plans to replace police force. Heavily armed. Led by 66 year-old man.

I just got off the phone with a tenured professor at the University of Probability, and he has assured me that nothing could possibly go wrong here. Nothing. Now, a reasonable person's first reaction to hearing that 45 cops are being laid off because of budget problems might be to ask "Gee, why are we so broke that we can't afford cops?" Or, if you're retarded, your first reaction involves grabbing your gun and rounding up a posse.

It'll be just as successful as the "Minutemen" (website now features 46% more eagles!) who decided to defend our border against Mexicans whose back-breaking labor subsidizes the low prices paid by the Minutemen at the grocery store.