Saturday, March 28, 2009

All aboard the USS Teabagger!

If you had the cash for an expensive cruise vacation, who would you share it with? If you're anything like Instaputz - and you are - you'd share it with none other than the cream of the wingnut crop.

For the price of a ticket starting at a mere $2500 (with the website encouragingly noting that "rates are being lowered", always a sign of healthy sales) you can go on the National Review cruise by Holland America. Yes, for less than $5000 you can grab a berth on the world's biggest floating sausage party. And once you're out in International Waters, well...wink wink! Oh, the sights you'll see.

Watch Karl Rove take a dip in the pool, layer upon layer of oily, crenulated back fat rippling in the Mediterranean breeze. Watch Yosemite Sam John Bolton chat idly with guests as he leans against the rails and wonder how you might effect escape if you pushed him overboard. Watch K-Lo be mistaken for prey and harpooned by a careless team of Norwegian whalers. Watch Rich Lowry awkwardly make love to the hot tub water jets as nearby guests talk about Palin 2012. Watch a sodden Jonah Goldberg hit on Tony Blankley in the mistaken belief that he is K-Lo while Blankely does nothing to disabuse him of the notion. Stumble into the wrong cabin at 4:30 AM to find Dick Morris and Cal Thomas locked in an enthusiastic but logistically complicated 69.

Yes, all this and more can be yours.

I almost feel like the liberal world needs to scrape together donations for a ticket and send someone undercover.

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