EXCLUSIVE! LARRY JOHNSON SEX TAPE! (with very important updates!)

We should have it up at 1:00 pm 2:00 3:00 EST. But I recommend that you check back here again (and again!) and link to us (lots!) throughout the day.

...I swear it's real! Keeping refreshing this page!

...UPDATE: I have spoken to someone who talked to someone who allegedly spoke to John Cole someone who spoke to someone else who claims to have seen the tape.

Advantage, blogosphere!

...UPDATE #2: FYI, for those expecting to SEE the tape, GET Shorty REAL.

...UPDATE #3: I can disclose some of the contents. Here's the soundtrack:

Baum chicka baum baum

Aside from Mr. Johnson, the only participant we can make out is a chiseled, well-heeled, blond-haired scalawag with a tattoo of Richard Nixon on his back.

Keep refreshing this page!

...Sweet jesus, this is teh funny: "Needless to say, when this thing hits YouTube, Larry Johnson will be permanently branded as a tool of marmoset crack smokers!"