Hey, whatever happened to Blog Carnivals?

You know it's bad when Derbyshire is one of the few voices of reason in your group blog. Case in point: the Corner's various posts on the Republican debate on Jan-30-2008. I shall not link to all of them, because frankly it's trivial to see them for yourself.

Let's go through them one by one and see what their, er, 'temperament' can be distilled down to.

Lopez on Romney: "I think Romney came off effective and competent. "

Translation: "Rhett, Rhett... Rhett, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?"

Kathryn Jean Lopez on McCain: "It's a real problem for him. He was angry [...]"

Translation: "From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realize that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry."

Mark Hemingway: "McCain was very intemperate, and I'm with K-Lo in that his "for patriotism, not profit" line is just unacceptable."

Translation: McCain hates scum like us, and sadly he's made it clear enough. YAY MITT!!!

KJL: "What a nasty way the frontrunner [McCain] started his answer"

Translation: You horrid little man!

Levin: "Romney might want to ask McCain when he first became aware of al-Qaeda and why he didn't make as much noise about protecting the military from cuts during the Clinton administration"

Translation: McCain supported terrorism and was a silent accomplice for Bill Clinton in enabling 9/11 due to his immoral, treasonous, anti-American acts. The gallows are too good for him.

KJL: "I deeply admire John McCain for his military service. He shouldn't use that line."

Translation: If McCain keeps reminding us he is a bona-fide war hero, he'll keep making Mitt look like a sleazy snake-oil salesman. Oh, Mitt!

Hemingway: "Romney is right to take umbrage over McCain's "timetable for withdrawal" charge."

Translation: McCain is a traitor. Mitt would destroy islamofascism with a single golden tablet!

KJL: "McCain came off badly during an Iraq round."

Translation: Like he always does. Hehindeedy!

KJL: "[McCain] comes off so self-righteous that he is even being questioned about it. He needs some humility on this issue."

Translation: Oh, MITT! Why hast thou forsaken us?!

Levin: "This is the kind of junk [from McCain] that is hard for some of us to stomach."

Translation: However, we could stomach some more sweet, sweet cash from Romney's $200mil campaign chest.

McCarthy: "McCain: "There are some greedy people on Wall Street who need to be punished." Is he our guy, or what?

Translation: Greed is good.

Levin: "Not that I needed anyone to tell me the McCain-Lieberman cap-and-trade program is a bad idea, but Romney's dissection of it was clear and compelling."

Translation: You. Are. So. Beautiful... to MEeeeeeeee.

Levin: "Romney just listed the major issues conservatives have with McCain, and McCain did not defend a single one of them. Why is that?"

Translation: Fuck you, McCain. Fuck you so very, very much.

Hemingway: "What a stupid opening question by Anderson Cooper. His insistence that Romney must somehow attach himself to Bush's economic record is just absurd. But Romney handled himself well."

Translation: Mitt is a giant amongst men. He is, dare I say... rising?

Lopez: "I'll shut up after this post, but Romney has been ON since Michigan."

Translation: I will never shut up about Romney. TAKE ME, MITT!